If none of the below apply to you, serious respect…
1. 10:30pm is a late night.
2. You’ve got the Peppa Pig theme tune stuck in your head.
3. Mark Warner/ Club Med holidays suddenly seem like a very good idea. And you’re intrigued to learn there’s a spa hotel at Disneyland Paris.
4. You know you have baby sick on your shoulder/ jeans/ sofa but you haven’t done anything about it.
5. You find certain flavours of Ella’s Kitchen quite delicious.
6. A trip to the cinema is a punishingly expensive night out. If the film ends after 11pm, forget it.
7. You judge restaurants not on service, décor or food but on their baby changing facilities, kid menu and buggy parking.
8. You’ve purchased an aesthetically unappealing family car.
9. You turn down lunch invitations because nothing can interfere with midday nap.
10. “Bathtime” is the highlight of your day.
11. You grin proudly when someone says your bald, toothless, big-cheeked baby looks like you.
12. Your favourite topics are baby routines, nurseries and schools.
13. You write cards from your baby in the first person and refer to your partner as “Mum” or “Dad”, even in public.
14. Your phone is filled with pictures of your baby, not your partner. “Date night” is a chance to coo over your latest baby pictures.
15. You can’t remember life without your little one and cry every time you see a baby on TV, even if it’s Home & Away or Neighbours.