Everyone knows that social media is NOT REAL.
It is a styled, edited, air-brushed, snap-shot reality that people present while they pick their noses and stagger about looking haggard offline.
And this is never truer than in the case of those idyllic, perfect-seeming families that seem to pop up in our feeds so much these days.
Those beautiful, stylish, curly-haired children cuddling each other on a glamping trip in sunny Wales? Just seconds ago one bit the other. In two minutes, it is going to start pissing with rain.
That toned mother with waist-length hair, who you are wistfully admiring as she breastfeeds her eighth child on a beach in Ibiza? She’s doing pelvic floor exercises – and praying her fanny hasn’t prolapsed.
And yet, a whole industry has sprung up around these seemingly perfect mothers – ones who run their own businesses, dress impeccably and have impossibly white, clutter free interiors.
Of course, they’re fun to look at, but, let’s be honest, they’re not always the best for one’s sanity when battling on the parenting front line.
It is therefore rather wonderful to take refuge in the host of blogging, instagramming, tweeting mummies who don’t subscribe to the ‘everything is perfect’ projection, and who don’t take themselves – or parenthood – too seriously.
Here are some personal favourites.
The Daily Mail recently berated her for boasting about being a ‘Slummy Mummy’, but at least mum of two Sarah Turner is telling it like it is.
Sample wisdom: “Potty training highs and lows from today: High point – toddler did his first wee in potty. Low point- he then shat in the DVD cupboard.”
Being all profesh and stuff at last week’s British Book Awards. I had an email in advance to say there would be a red carpet and I spent most of the day messaging people saying, ‘What do I have to do on a red carpet? Am I supposed to pose? What do I do with my hands?’ (@brummymummyof2’s picture message suggestion of how to pose kept me chuckling all night, thanks Bab). Twas a glorious event but I am MUCH more comfortable at home on our slightly discoloured-with-potty-training-residue carpet #britishbookawards #notaredcarpetperson #alltheawks
Mumfidential contributor Jessica Duff brings her readers to tears with hilarious posts about life with her three kids, living as an ex-pat in Singapore.
Sample wisdom: “As far as I’m concerned, the biggest parenting annoyance is the utter boredom (not to mention stress) of having to repeat yourself OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Family interactions are as follows: “F, can you put your shoes on… [Pause] Put your shoes on… [Pause] Put your shoes on… [Pause] Put your shoes on…. [Pause] PUT YOUR SHOES ON!!! ” At which point he jumps up, startled, looks at me with a mixture of disgust and bewilderment, and spits “Why do you have to SHOUT all the time??”
Zoë de Pass
Less improbable leather crop tops and post-baby pencil skirts (thank you, Julia Restoin Roitfeld), more handy denim jackets and why dresses are brilliant for the average mummy figure, Zoe de Pass is has our fashion backs.
Sample wisdom: “This bag works just as well with a laptop or nappies in it as it does for your sports kit.”
Married to Sunday Times restaurant critic Giles Coren, Esther used her humourous blog about the realities of parenting small children as the basis for her hilarious book “The Bad Mother”. You can read excerpts from it on Mumfidential.
Sample wisdom: “I have not left the house in my pyjamas, yet, but I have certainly left the house in my night bra (which I wear in the belief that it will stop my bosom from sagging further)”
A wonderful blog (and now book) for “perfectly imperfect parents”, Brighton-based mum Katie Kirby candid reflections on parenthood will make you laugh out loud and nod knowingly.
Sample wisdom: “Enjoy the early days!” people said, ‘It goes by so quickly!” I remember thinking… I fucking hope it does!
And there’s always Mumfidential of course….. don’t forget to follow us on Insta!
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