This New Year why not give your children the space and time to make mistakes and find their own ways to remedy them?
One of our many jobs as a parent is to bring up self-sufficient respectful people.
Our children flourish if they learn from an early age, that they, (as far as their age and ability dictates), have the responsibility to look after themselves and that all their actionshave consequences.
The hardest thing for any parent, who obviously only wants the best for their child, is to let go, stand back and do nothing when something goes wrong for one of their offspring.
Controlling ourselves from jumping to the rescue can be very tough, but when we try to save our child from difficulty we actually take from them instead.
When we leap in to sort out the problem we waste an opportunity for them to learn some important life lessons.
By resolving the problem we remove the opportunity for our child to independently learn how to make right what went wrong.
Not controlling the situation can feel like torture, yet, when your child messes things up, your job is to stand back, let go and give them the space and time to work things out on their own.
Working out what happened, why it happened and strategies to rectify the situation, regulating their emotions in the process are key life skills.
Finding solutions to manage difficulty from an early age builds strength, resilience and character.
It’s tough to sit it out in discomfort but the earlier our children learn ways to cope with uncomfortable feelings then the easier it will be for them to find their own solutions.
Why not try this New Year, with full agreement from your children, to give them the chance to be more independent and responsible for them selves? (Children get the greatest satisfaction from learning to be independent.)
Start by making it clear that if your children forget their ‘show and tell’, homework, saxophone, lunchbox, spelling words, football boots or whatever it may be, either at home or at school, then they will have to manage the consequences on their own and you won’t be coming to the rescue.
Then, slowly open the door to the myriad of different ways you can let go, stand back and allow your children the space, time and security to independently find their own way through difficult times.