Not a moment too soon, Anna Whitehouse, the Heart FM presenter and blogger, has given us her tips for keeping your relationship on track in this testing period of lockdown/ homeschooling/ WFH.
Anna Whitehouse, aka Mother Pukka, is co-author of ‘Where’s My Happy Ending?’ with husband Matt Farquharson.
Giving your partner a cheeky bum squeeze by the dishwasher might just be the gesture they need to remind them you appreciate them, and maybe even still fancy them a bit.
Anna Whitehouse’s tips for a happy lockdown relationship
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You can’t do everything at once. Home-schooling while working remotely while making toast into the shape of a carrot and trying to not eat everything in the fridge isn’t a working formula. Schedule time off for each person so you don’t go off the walls in your four walls.
Communicate
But not about the big stuff. Now’s not the time to bring up that unresolved argument from your 1999 all-inclusive holiday in Corfu.
Squash the small stuff straight away, but don’t use this ‘extra time’ to try and navigate issues that have the potential to blow up.
Get dressed up
Comfort is king, but my wardrobe has edged towards retirement chic in the past few weeks, and my husband is currently donning a hoodie from the last millennium. We’ve decided to dress like our former selves once a week and have dinner together that evening to keep a sense of normality and ‘romance’.
Think before you rage
This is cheese on toast, but a good philosophy to remember is whenever you’re angry with your partner, don’t ask ‘What do I need from them?’ but ask instead, ‘What does love need now?’
This basically just means stopping to think about what’s best for your relationship, rather than losing it in the moment.
Take time out
Spending 24/7 in one place with one person – it’s likely they will become a bit annoying after a while. Cherish personal time, even if it’s 15 minutes crushing candy on the loo, and give it to your partner too. Let them watch whatever they want on TV, have a bath – whatever they want, guilt free, and ask them to allow you to do the same.
Split the day
Particularly if you have young children. We split the day in half – I work in the morning whilst my husband keeps the children alive, fed and semi-educated, and then we swap.
This way, you both have a chance to get things done and spend an equal amount of time home-schooling the kids so they (and you) don’t get too bored.
Allow it
Acknowledge that you will get hacked off by things. Kids will spill, the postman will knock on the door too aggressively, your partner will ask you where the tea towels are kept despite co-habiting for years. Make peace with the chaos – it’s inevitable.
Celebrate dinner
Research shows that food boosts morale and making a meal for someone shows you care. Take the time to cook something you’ll both look forward to, and make a big deal of sitting down to eat it together. Light a candle. Perhaps put on some fresh pyjamas for the occasion.
Make time slots for tasks
Especially if you’re working remotely. Designate clear time slots that your partner and other family members to ask to you to do things and stick to it.
Just because you’re at home doesn’t mean all of your time belongs to everyone else.
Love is all around
We can’t use outside events (other than the relentlessly depressing news) to stimulate conversation right now, but there are plenty of little things you can do each day to keep things fun.
Giving your partner a cheeky bum squeeze by the dishwasher might just be the gesture they need to remind them you appreciate them, and maybe even still fancy them a bit.
Follow Anna on Instagram
And click the picture to buy her book
