Can I Get The Spark Back In My Marriage After A Baby?

This week Lulu helps a reader whose marriage has become less passionate since the baby arrived ...

Can you expect your marriage to return to it’s honeymoon stage after a baby?

Dear Lulu,

Have you got any tips for bringing the spark back into a relationship?!

I’ve got an 18-month-old daughter who my husband and I adore.

He’s already talking about having another child but I wonder if we should be working on our relationship first.

I think we still love each other but sometimes, although I’d never admit it to him, I feel so sad that we’ve lost all that passion we had when we were dating. We’re great friends but when he gets home from work in the evenings it’s my daughter who gets the first kiss.

Maybe I’m asking too much at this stage?

JL, London

Dear JL,

Thank you for your letter. Your daughter sounds like a lucky little girl!

It’s important to remember that all relationships have their ups and downs. When you marry you promise to take the rough with the smooth with your shared love as the foundation and the bedrock for your life together.

Keeping the magic alive in a marriage and having a healthy romantic relationship is something that both you and your husband have to work on together and as you suggest it sounds like now would be a good time for you both to reclaim some of the excitement and thrill you experienced when dating. You are not asking too much but it does require work and strong relationships don’t just happen.

My suggestion would be to make time to have fun together, jointly find something fun and silly to enjoy where you can both let go and have a laugh. Create your own couple rituals, like a weekly date night, morning tea together, a monthly Park Run and why not plan a romantic weekend away together without your daughter this time.

Making time to connect as a couple is really important as it’s key to building a strong, lasting happy family.

Good luck and have fun giving your husband his first evening kiss!


Lulu x

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