Lockdown, home school, work, weather, uncertainty and all the rest…. there is no doubt about it this is tough on every level.
Therefore, this is the time to be extra gentle on yourself.
Ironically most of us are pretty compassionate and kind to our family our friends and those we love yet we can struggle to be compassionate towards ourselves.
Unfortunately, this is especially true when we are feeling emotionally vulnerable which is again super sad as it’s the time when we need self-compassion the most!
We can find that when we’re struggling the most that a majority of us default to being extra especially hard on ourselves for not being able to cope.
We chastise ourselves for not being able to manage. We might even find ourselves trying to scare ourselves out of with what ‘might happen’ if we don’t pull ourselves together and do better.
“I’m useless at this home schooling, rubbish at teaching my children. Today was a mess, all those tears. Why did I lose my temper? Why am I such a rubbish mother. If I fail at this, I’m going to mess my children’s lives up forever and it will be all my fault.”
The sad thing about this ‘tough’ head talk is the double whammy effect it has that only make the emotional struggle worse.
In addition to feeling anxious for not being able to cope you feel angry at feeling anxious too. Instead of just feeling sad you feel guilty for feeling that way too.
So, please from now on try to cultivate a habit of kindness and gentleness with yourself. Instead of attacking yourself when things don’t go quite as well as was planned, reframe and give yourself a pat on the back and some words of encouragement for the things that have gone well.
Start talking to yourself as you talk to your good friend; the friend who’s not finding teaching, working, cooking, cleaning, shopping, loving, supporting, caring and coping in the time of Lockdown as easy as they think they ‘should’ be.
Don’t attack yourself when you’re feeling things are hard to cope with, lift yourself up instead. After all, you are trying your best and you can’t do better than that.
Please get in touch if you need to talk.