Sometimes life doesn’t work out exactly as planned – particularly now, in the midst of a global pandemic.
Sadly, divorce rates are expected to rise in 2021, due to the pressures of Covid and the implications of three lockdowns.
While divorce is unavoidable for many couples, and the best route for the whole family, there are steps you can take to make the situation as painless as possible.
Here are a few tips for anyone struggling with their marriage right now.
Don’t Apportion Blame
No matter how you feel about your partner, you should avoid assigning blame for the breakdown of a marriage. W
hile separation and divorce can be an incredibly challenging time, pointing fingers will only make matters worse.
Even where one party is driving the separation, try to remain cool headed and keep from being accusatory.
Blaming one another will only lead to heated arguments, and that is never the way to go if you’re trying to keep a divorce from getting messy.
While prenups aren’t legally enforceable in the UK, they can be a good way to establish the division of assets in the event of separation.
Prenups are often understandably seen as unromantic, particularly in the run up to a wedding, but it is best to think of prenups like insurance. When you get car insurance, you aren’t planning for or wishing an accident upon yourself, but it is essential to have insurance regardless.
If you’re considering getting a prenup, this could be the best way to prevent a messy divorce in the future. When taking out a prenuptial agreement, you should ensure that it is drawn up professionally.
Choose a solicitor with plenty of previous experience of drawing up prenuptial agreements.
Keep The Children Out Of It
Divorce can be an unsettling time for children and they should be your priority during the separation; do everything you can to shield them from arguments and bad feeling.
That isn’t to say you should keep your children in the dark – letting your children know what is happening is crucial to prevent feelings of anxiety and worry.
Discussions with your children about divorce should be done in a calm, pre-agreed way, with both of you involved in discussing the changes with your kids.
Give your children the chance to ask questions and give honest, age-appropriate answers.
You should also let your children know that whatever they’re feeling is okay, and try to get them to speak to you or another trusted adult about what emotions they’re experiencing.
Try To Maintain A Positive Relationship With Your Ex
This one may be difficult at first, but with time it should get easier. Work at it; your children will thank you for it so much both now and in the future.
Like it or not, your ex will always be in your life because they will always be in your children’s lives.
It can help to reframe your view of your ex-spouse, thinking of them as a co-parent who you share a child with rather than a friend or romantic