I have this little brother, Alfie. He is small, and very annoying.
One day, I ask Alfie if he would like to come on the trampoline with me. Alfie loves bouncing up and down on trampolines.
Yes, Hector, Alfie says. And then he tries to run to the trampoline faster than me.
Alfie always wants to be first. But so do I goddamit.
Luckily I am bigger than him with longer legs, so I beat him there by miles.
“Hector!” Alfie shouts, panting up behind me. “I absolutely definitely utterly wanted to be on the trampoline first.”
No Alfie, I say, and give him a big push so he falls over backwards.
“WAAAAAAH” says Alfie. “Mummmmeeeee!”
Before I know it, two big hands have grabbed me round the waist and I am being carried across the garden, and through the kitchen, and into the laundry room for “Time Out”.
My little brother Alfie is very, very annoying.