‘My son is being bullied by an older girl’

Lulu, our parenting expert, is here to answer your child-related questions.

This week: ‘My son is being bullied by an older girl.’

Dear Lulu,

I’m hoping you may be able to help! 

My son has recently started in Year 1 of primary school and is being targeted by a girl in an older year. I might add at this point that she also ‘bullies’ a great deal of other children, both older and younger.

Most of the time the bullying is physical – she hit and kicked my son every day last week – but now also mental – telling him all his work is wrong and that he is stupid.

From what I can gather, she is an ongoing problem for the school – whenever her name is mentioned, mothers roll there eyes and say they wish staff would do something about her. My son is telling members of staff, whenever he is targeted, but she seems to only get a ‘telling off.’

It is now starting to really affect my son. He shrinks behind me whenever he sees her, dreads going into the classroom in the morning if she is there, and seems withdrawn, even though he is good at talking to me about any issues.

One particular example is last week when he sat in the corner of the after school club, not joining in, as he was too upset about being kicked in the face by this girl earlier on in the day.

I am speaking to his teacher about the issue later but wondered where I stand and how hard I can put my foot down so to speak. It seems this girl has been an issue since she started at the school but that the staff are brushing the problem under the carpet.

I very much look forward to hearing from you.

Anon, London 

Dear Anon,

Thank you for your email and I’m very sorry to hear about your son and the tough time he’s having.
You really don’t want your son to be fearful or unhappy at school so my suggestion would be to act swiftly now to ‘officially’ raise this issue with your sons teacher.
You need to be firm but fair when talking to the teacher giving the same examples that you have given me.
Teachers really don’t want their pupils to be unhappy so you are doing them a favour by telling them what’s going on from your son’s perspective.
It sounds as if the little girl who’s causing your son and other children anxiety is the one who could do with a helping hand, her unkind behaviour is a way of calling for attention.
Please let me know how you get on. Good luck.
Lulu x

– Have you got a parenting concern you’d like Lulu to help with? You can write to her at lulu@mumfidential.com

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