We thought ‘North’ was bad, but the announcement that Kim/Kanye’s latest addition to the West brood will be called ‘Saint’ is just another sad reminder of the celebrity affliction that is TERRIBLE baby naming. They just can’t help themselves, can they? So, for the sake of all ‘Boys named Sue’ (or Girls named North) out there, we’ve rounded up some of our all time favourite terrible celebrity baby names. Parents: don’t do it!
Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin
Parent: Frank Zappa
Why? Blame the acid.
Kal-El
Parent responsible: Nicholas Cage
Why? After superman, because what kid doesn’t want to share a name with a superhero?
Apple
Parent responsible: Chris Martin
Why? Because, we quote: “apples are so sweet and they’re so wholesome, and it’s biblical and it’s just, they’re so, and I just thought it sounded so lovely…” That’s that cleared up then.
Sage Moonblood
Parent responsible: Sylvester Stallone
Why? We’re putting it down to too many action movies (and fake blood).
Pilot Inspektor
Parent responsible: Jason Lee
Why? Because he heard a song by the band Grandaddy called ‘He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot’. Hmm.
Memphis Eve
Parent responsible: Bono
Why? Because a dad called Bono with silly glasses wasn’t enough.
Spurgeon
Parents responsible: Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald
Why? It might sound like a species of fish or Scotland’s first minister (neither very appealing), but little Spurgeon was in fact named after a 19th century Baptist preacher.
Jermajesty
Parent responsible: Michael Jackson’s brother Jermaine
Why? Because ‘Her Majesty’ was taken.
Denim
Parent responsible: Toni Braxton
Why? Because suede, leather and cord didn’t sound right.
Audio Science
Parent responsible: Shannyn Sossamon
Why? Oh, just because.
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